“How do you pray for someone you’ve never met?”
I’ve been wondering about this a lot lately. Every morning on my commute to school or in my quiet time I pray for the man that will one day become my husband. Other than praying for purity and spiritual growth which seem pretty basic, how do you know what’s going on in that person’s life if you’re not in it? Unless God reveals something to you, you can’t possibly know. However as much of a figment of my imagination as he may seem right now, my future husband is just as real and as human as I am. He’s dealing with a lot of the same things I might be. He’s patiently waiting for me just like I am for him, the God of the universe is not only our creator, but also our Savior, we look up at the same sky and moon every night, and we both have times where we feel happy and sad. This made me realize that some of the ways I pray for myself are also ways in which I can pray for him. It’s made me feel like I can really connect with him on a more personal level even though he’s not physically here with me. Maybe this list can help bridge the gap between you and your future spouse some as well. (And since I’m a lady, I’ll be choosing to use masculine pronouns, but this list is adaptable for men praying for their future wives as well.)
♥ for his salvation
The Bible says we should not be unequally yoked with one another. As I have previously mentioned, there’s no way of knowing exactly where your future husband is at in his life – or walk with God for that matter – let alone when you will meet him. Perhaps, He has not come to know Jesus Christ as His Lord and Savior yet. Pray that the Lord brings people into His life, if He hasn’t already, that can show him God’s love and truth.
♥ for growth in his relationship with Jesus Christ
Think of marriage like a triangle with God being at the top and husband and wife being at each of the bottom corners. The closer you both get to God, the closer both of you are to each other. If only one of you is moving closer to God than the more distant you and your spouse are from each other. It just makes sense, but more importantly the closer your spouse grows in his relationship with God the more Christ will pour out from every aspect of his life putting him in the perfect will of God and therefore he will be living a life of happiness and value for the kingdom of heaven. What Christian wife doesn’t want that?
♥ for strength in the fight for emotional, physical, and spiritual purity
In the world we live in, it seems pretty unrealistic to expect someone to remain emotionally, physically, and spiritually pure, but God does expect that which makes living a life of purity all the more difficult. We are constantly battling sin in our spiritual walk. It’s an illness all of humanity has inherited. We are called to live pure lives where we are not giving ourselves to anything or anyone other than our future spouse. That’s why we need to ask God to give our future spouse strength in this fight. You can’t give someone something you’ve already given someone else and you were meant to give yourself entirely to only one person.
♥ he is faithful in studying and living by the word of God
The more we read God’s love letter to us the more we grow and can share with others to bring them knowledge and also defend our faith.
♥ his relationship with the Lord would overflow from every aspect of his life
The first thing that draws you to him should be the light of Christ in his life overflowing from every area. You’ll look at him and know right away that he is different because he’s not living in the conventional ways of the world. I know that’s what I want him to be drawn to and see in me. Any other driving factor more important than that is superficial and can lead down a potentially dangerous path.
♥ by making Christ the Lord of his life, He would not succumb to materialism and worshipping other idols
Anything around us that becomes more important than spending time with God is an idol. Media, work, school, relationships with friends and family are all things that are a part of our every day life that aren’t necessarily bad, but when we truly evaluate what we are prioritizing, a good majority of the time we realize how caught up we become with living our life that we forget or don’t think to include God in much of it by letting him sit in the passenger seat let alone giving Him the wheel completely as He calls for.
♥ he would have a desire for knowledge and in return be blessed with wisdom and understanding
There will be circumstances and situations that will call for his decision and without knowledge, wisdom, and understanding, his judgement won’t be right and that decision could end up negatively effecting you and your family. Plus, it’s always a good thing to be sharpening your mind with new things by picking up a book, talking to different kinds of people, and doing research. It’s a way to prepare and build a new sense of perspective that will impact your life.
♥ he would be able to recognize and live by truth
Not only is honesty the best policy in our own lives, but it’s also something we should learn and identify. No one wants to be lied to and in the world we live in there are many lies making the truth harder and harder to recognize. We’ve gotta put on the belt of truth daily – it’s the most important part of the spiritual armor!
♥ he would be planning for the future in the decisions he’s making today
I don’t think we realize exactly how much of the decisions we make today stay with us for the rest of our lives and impact people years down the road. How much of your baggage will your husband and children eventually have to share in? I’m sure you’d prefer not to have to carry his let alone yours.
♥ he would be practicing making wise financial decisions
As the two of you will become one in marriage, those finances come along with you. (Remember what I just said about planning for the future and making decisions?) This means that you want to pray that he will see the importance in tithing, living debt-free, and most importantly that no matter what, as a child of God, our Father will provide and meet our needs.
♥ he would find joy in times of turmoil
The Lord is the derivation of our happiness and joy. Even in sadness and tragedy, we can find joy in Him because He can use it for His glory and purpose. He is our salvation and in the end all is well because this too shall pass.
♥ he would be matured beyond his years
There are times for fun, but there are also times to be serious. There has to be a balance. Women mature at a faster rate than men so, ladies, we either need to pray or marry someone older. For some, you will do both!
♥ he would be blessed with strong, spiritual mentors and influences in his life
Not only is it good for him to have strong, spiritual mentors that he can come to in order to discuss and ask questions in regards to his spiritual growth and faith, but also parental figures that will be positive role models for him to learn from when it comes to marriage and in raising him up as a man of God who will love and cherish you.
♥ he would have an understanding of love
I’m still trying to wrap my mind around God’s love for me – that He would send His only Son to die on the cross for ME so that I can live forever with Him in heaven just blows me away. To some degree, that’s part of how you understand love – you see how self-sacrificing it is and wonder why someone values you enough to sacrifice themselves for you. Pray he has an understanding of God’s love so that he may reflect it in his own life with the people around him.
♥ he would have a selfless heart to serve
When we are self-sacrificing it reveals Christ’s love for us and moves in the hearts of those whom we are serving by painting a picture of what Christ has done for us. The Beatles said, “All you need is love,” but Christ proved it long before when He sacrificed himself on the cross for US. Love can truly change the world.
♥ he would be instilled with leadership abilities
The man is supposed to be the leader of the household. In the end, his decision is meant to be the final one. In order to lead his family in righteousness God will need to be at the center providing him with leadership abilities. If it be his calling, these leadership abilities can also translate into the ministry for serving the Lord and bringing glory to His kingdom.
♥ he would have compassion for the lost and a desire to share the word of God
Our only purpose on this earth is to bring glory to God and share His love with the world. It should be something we pray for all believers that they may be a light into the darkness that draws the lost to God by allowing us share to with them our testimony of how God saved them with His love.
and finally …
♥ for yourself
You are after all his future wife. You love him enough to want to try and be your absolute possible best for him, right? Go back through this list and pray similarly for yourself. Ladies, you should be on the path to living a set apart lifestyle not only for your husband, but for your Prince (Jesus Christ) as well. The Bible says a virtuous woman is worth more than rubies. Proverbs 31 is a great passage to look to for this as you prepare for being that kind of woman – one of grace, faith, and a reflection of the self-sacrificing love of our Heavenly King. Gentlemen, the same goes for you. Your future wife deserves a warrior poet – a man who has a heart like David who will defend what he believes in and fight for what he loves as he draws closer to the Lord and walking in his Father’s footsteps. Your future wife is a beautiful creature God was kind enough to bless you with in His plan for your life. Cherish her! She is a rare treasure that there is only one of and you only have her for the short while you are here on earth for.